Saw this the other day--bust my sides with laughter and nearly broke the key pad!
The HMS GORDON BROWN
Headed for Newcastle , the British Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today. The HMS Gordon Brown set sail today from its home port of Skegness .
The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to Prime Minister Brown for his foresight in military budget cuts and his conduct while Prime Minister.
The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminium beer cans and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots. It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) (ex US Navy) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) (ex USAF) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.
As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.
The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation.
The crew, hand-picked from the Mersey Ferry, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of Britain at all costs!
An on - board Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find Britain offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.
The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defence, but instead in times of conflict, the HMS Gordon Brown has orders to seek refuge in Blackpool.
The ship may be positioned near the Labour Party Headquarters for photo - ops.
Dennis